BMWs and FSATFOTI and Kissing

This entry is a continuation of FSATFOTI as a BMW

Before i met Joanne and for maybe a year after that i was never a big fan of kissing.  there was nothing wrong with it, but i didn’t really ‘get’ it so to speak.  Now, ten years A.J. (After Joanne) i really like kissing.  Which relates to FSATFOTI and BMWs as follows.

From the Fractal Society point of view, Joanne and i (and you and your sweetie) are s-fracts, and kissing is an s-function. And this blog posting explores the idea that the kissing s-function might be a wonderful analogy for/example of FSATFOTI.

Joanne and Michael as two S-fracts

Using FSATFOTI as our basic model of the world (BMW) everybody is seen as

  1. An s-fract
  2. Being made up of smaller s-fracts, and
  3. Being a part of many larger s-fracts (our families, our spiritual groups, our collection of friends….)

So before kissing gets started, there is me (an s-fract) looking at Joanne (another s-fract) and her looking at me.

Kissing as an S-function, and what that function is/does

When we first start kissing there are two of us, but in my experience with Joanne once we really get into it the her and me starts to dissolve as the kissing evolves.  There becomes less and less a sense of me kissing her or her kissing me and more a sense of us kissing.

S-functions are how s-fracts relate/connect to each other, and so the kissing s-function serves to dissolve our individuality and increase our sense/awareness of our unity

Kissing with Joanne is different from kissing my mom.  (thank G*d for that!) When i kiss my mom on her cheek, that kind of kiss serves a different function, it does a different thing.  So perhaps there are several different “flavors” for any s-function; child-to-parent kissing, friend-to-friend kissing, erotic-kissing, unifying-kissing….

Joanne and Michael as one S-fract

During the kiss, she and i are more one than two (see also anything by eecummings.) There is a sense of oneness and unity that is wonderful.  And i remember thinking in the afterglow “i wish it could be like this with everybody.”  Not that i wanted to kiss everybody, but i wanted to recognize that unity, that sense of us not really being divided from each other. But there is a difference between wanting to do something and knowing how to do it.  (see the day i discovered kissing for a related example.) And this is where FSATFOTI as a BMW comes into play.


So the question is “How do we realize our unity, our fundamental oneness with everybody?” The physical sensation of kissing is great, but the unifying aspect of kissing is wonderful.  i think, and to be clear this is just an assumption of mind, that the practices of Buddha-dharma can lead to that realization.  i also think, and again this is just an assumption, that making FSATFOTI one of our basic models of the world might also lead to that realization.

It might not get us there, but it might lead towards it.

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